The experiment gods are against me.

Have you ever had what should be a simple, simple experiment just NOT work.  No matter what you do, the experiment gods just seem to be against you.  And by this I don't mean, you're not getting the result you predicted (or even want) but that you're not getting ANY result.  That has been my fight of the last 2 weeks.   And right, I'm at the point where I would rather get the opposite result than I really need just so I know the damn experiment is working.

(sigh)

Its times like these, that I think its just best to put that project aside, and deal with something else for a little.  Thankfully, I have enough on my plate that there are many, many other things I can deal with, experiment with, toy with, design, while I wait for the experiment gods to decide to shine upon me.   And at least I am not at the point yet where every thing I touch crumbles in front of me.  Some things are still working, and for that I will count my blessings.

Telling the Boss

So due to the nature of some of my experiments in the lab, I felt I needed to let my PI know that I was expecting and thus wouldn't be able to fool around with some of the more nastier stuff we work with.

Keep in mind, I'm currently only 10 weeks along, not even done with the first trimester yet and hadn't initially planned on telling anyone until we passed that milestone.

Anyway, my PI (who I think I did previously refer to as pretty damn amazing) was actually excited when I told him I was pregnant.  I wasn't quite sure how it would go over (though there is another post-doc in the lab who had a baby 2 years ago so I wasn't the first in the lab to have to tell him such news), but he pleasantly surprised me.   Suddenly he was giving me all this advice (taken from his wife's experience, but of course) and telling me how the birth of his daughter was one of the best moments of his life.

(sigh)

And yes people, I count my blessings every day that I managed to find a lab that..

a) works on something I am very interested in

and

b) is run by such an awesome person.

Now, I just have to figure out how to tell him that I plan on taking 3 months off once the baby is born....  :)    But I think I'm going to wait a little for that announcement.

Done

with Spring semester of 2009.

The final exam is graded (with a tiny curve) and all grades have been entered.  And I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.  One course done... many more to come in the future.

Unfortunately, as much as I enjoy teaching, I won't be teaching next semester.  I had a course (Baby Bio) all lined up for Fall, but I had to ask the Dean to remove me from the schedule.  You see, Mr. TempProf and I recently found out we are expecting our first child.  And I don't think I could handle an evening class, 2 nights a week, at 8 months pregnant.   (Especially when you add to that working a full-time post-doc job)

So, as I started this blog to talk about my adventures in teaching, and won't be teaching for a year, this blog will probably not be too active.  I definitely plan to bring it back though as soon as I re-enter the teaching world.  Which will happen.  Cause despite the difficulties I had this semester, I think this is what I'm meant to do.

-TempProf

Currently Unfunded

That's my funding status.

I finally got my review back from ACS (after they took their good old sweet time... see here).   Apparently I am a "very strong candidate" whose "mentor is a well established and highly regarded researcher in field X", however my research plan suffers from being "overly ambitious and not focused enough."

Hmmm... though both my 2 reviewers did say I should resubmit.  So I guess I have some revisions coming my way and attempts to focus the research down.   The next time I can submit is October 15th, so I have a while to deal with it.  (Technically the next time I could submit would have been April 1st, however since I only got the feedback on April 1st, that wasn't really a possibility.)

Oh, yeah, and the final overall recommendation was "Low Excellent"

What the heck does that mean?

I think I need to make a sign and post it on my door.

"Dr. Temporary Prof - Low Excellent"

Maybe I should change my blog title to that....

ps- I know this is all part of the process, so I'm really not that upset about not getting a fellowship.  Though it would have been nice...

OCD. Me? Never.

So I'm waiting to hear about my ACS fellowship.  

According to the 40+ page instruction booklet, they send out an e-mail with your application status in early to mid-March.  And even though they explicitly state that they will send out an e-mail before updating the reviewers comments on the proposalCENTRAL website, I am constantly logging onto the site to see if my comments are there.  And I mean constantly.  Last night I checked at 8:30pm, again at 8:50, once more at 9:40, and then one final time at 10:10 before turning my computer off for the night.

I hate to bother the good 'ol people at ACS (especially if they deem me worthy enough of some funding) but its AFTER BOTH EARLY AND MID-MARCH!  

Last time I checked March had 31 days, which would make the middle of March occur half way through the day on March 15th.  

Today is March 18th.  That would be 3 days after March 15th.

Don't provide me with date information like that and not keep your end of the bargain.  I mean, c'mon!  Your application was due on October 15th, and I didn't try and hand mine in on October 16th!  It was there, in your hands, by the 15th.  Like stated.  So cut me some slack and send me an e-mail.

I don't know why I'm OCDing about this as I'm fully prepared for another rejection letter.  What I really want is the comments they give you.  If I could just see what they thought was wrong with my proposal, maybe I could make some changes and resubmit.  After all, ACS lets you resubmit up to 2 times, I believe.   

Will I resubmit before the next deadline?  Perhaps.  'Cause I kinda want a fellowship.  Y'know?

Not a 100%

I feel like I am not giving a 100%.

Not a 100% that I could give to my research.

Not a 100% that I could give to teaching.

Not a 100% that I could give to my husband.

Not a 100% that I could give to my dogs.

I am capable of so much more.   But there are only so many hours in a day.  And after awhile, to be honest, my brain just shuts down.

The worst experience

So I'm going to throw what currently tops as my worst ever experience out there for the whole world to read about.  Maybe that will help me get over my utter embarrassment at the issue.

Rewind to Friday.  

Yes, Friday, March 13th.  

I am walking across campus to meet a friend for lunch at an off-campus restaurant.  My stomach is grumbling a little.   I chalk it up to hunger, since I didn't feel like breakfast earlier in the morning.  I continue walking.  Get off campus.  Cross the street and am about to hit the "busy" part of Anytown.  When suddenly I don't feel so good.  I stop on the sidewalk and try to calm my innards.   But suddenly I realize it is not working.  And before I know it, I've lost my cookies (to put it nicely) all over the sidewalk.

I am thoroughly embarrassed and try to hide as far away from the sidewalk in a little grassy knoll while my stomach continues to revolt.

After awhile, I feel okay enough to try and walk back to lab.   But our campus is a pretty big one, and my building is at the complete opposite end from where I currently am.   Let's just say it was a long walk back.  Trying to hide the fact that I feel like utter shit from everyone I pass and barely holding it together.

Get back to lab, call Mr. TemporaryProf, who graciously agrees to leave work and come and pick me up.  No way I was going to take public transportation home.

Damn coworkers who come to work even though they feel nauseous and are hacking up a lung.  I'm all for showing how strong and productive you are.  But c'mon people... if you're sick, stay home!!!!!!   And to the one coworker who never washes their hands after using the restroom, you are a scientist!  Don't you know the benefits of being sanitary!?!?!?!?

Thankfully, it was only a 24 hour bug and after spending almost 24 hours in bed today, I am feeling almost human again.

Rejected

Thats how I feel today.

Got my first fellowship rejection e-mail today.  Apparently LSRF doesn't want to fund my outstanding research.  Oh, well.  Their loss. 

I don't know if I feel better knowing that they got 800+ applications and only funded 2%.    That would be 16 awards, for the mathematically challenged.

However, I know this is part of the process and something I'm going to have to get used to.

My fingers are just crossed that someone out there will throw a little $$$$ my way.

Understanding Advisor

Do I have an understanding post-doc advisor?    There is only one response to that... hells yea.

When I first thought about adjunct-ing in addition to post-doc-ing, I knew it would be a lot of work, and I'd have a lot on my plate.  But I went in to talk to Awesome Advisor (maybe I should just call him Dr. AA from here on out) and his response to me was....

"If you are thinking of that for your long-term career, then you should definitely jump at the opportunity if it comes your way.  The only thing I would request is that when you are here in the lab, you are doing your research.  And all the prep for your class is done on your time."

Now I think that was a very valid request on his part, and in no way was I ever planning on spending my time in the lab working on lecture prep.  So of course I agreed immediately.  Then when I got offered the adjunct spot, he was just as excited for me as I was.  And he now waits in baited breath as does the rest of my lab (maybe not, but I can pretend they all do), to hear the "stories" of my latest class.

The one unfortunate thing I have to admit... and please don't tell Dr. AA... is that I have worked on my lecture during time I was in the lab.   Sometimes there just isn't enough time in the evenings to prepare entire lectures.  Good lectures.  Lectures that will be informative and entertaining.  And to grade quizzes.  Write new quizzes.   Prep the laboratory experiments we will be doing that week.  Write lab quizzes.  Grade lab quizzes.  Grade lab reports.  Prepare lab lectures.

So I cheat.   

During 5 minute incubations.... I grade another quiz.  During 10 minute spins... I fix a lecture slide or answer my adjunct e-mail.

So please...please... don't tell on me.