Unbelievable student requests

"Can you just scan in the missing pages & send them to me?"

That is a quote from an e-mail I received from a student this weekend.  Apparently their lab manual is missing 4 or 5 pages, so they want me to scan in the pages and e-mail it to them.

Ummm.. how about no.

I told them I was not near a scanner and wouldn't be for some time, so they might want to try to contact a fellow student in the class.  Maybe I shouldn't have even e-mailed them back.

I would NEVER have had the gall to ask a professor to do that for me.  Why does it seem that students these days just expect everything to be handed to them on a silver platter?

Exam Time

So that time has rolled around again.   Time to write another exam.   I think when I was a student (eons and eons ago, just kidding!) I thought professors had it really easy.  They just had to pick some random questions, throw them on a piece of paper, and print out enough copies for the entire class.  Then when I picked up the book and instructors CD and realized there was a test bank of questions, I thought how hard can this be?   It's only now, having written one exam previously, that I realize how much work it takes. 

I also think its a lot easier to take an exam than it is to write an exam.  I would much rather spend my time studying a subject, take an hour+ exam and be done, then spend hours upon hours of trying to come up with questions to test the knowledge of the students.  Questions that are interesting and challenging, but not too challenging.  Questions that make sense to people besides me, the writer.  Questions that at least some portion of the class will be able to successfully answer!

Writing a good exam is an art.  And I am not even close to perfecting that art form yet.

Bad Lab Instructor

I got tattled on this AM.

Apparently one of my lab tables didn't completely empty every single drop of water out of their beakers last night after cleaning them.  So the lab this morning had to dry them out.

How do I know this?  I got an e-mail from the "head" lab person this AM requesting that I more properly ensure my students clean up after themselves.

Being in the great mood I'm in.... I sent a very lovely e-mail back apologizing, saying it wouldn't happen again, and if we were informing of equipment not properly maintained, here were my complaints.... And then I proceeded to list the unfortunate things I've had to deal with this semester, but which I just initially shrugged off as an accident.

Spiteful today?  Not in the least.....

The Annoying Ones

I have one student (who in a previous post I've named Sam so we're just going to keep on with that) who absolutely drives me nuts.   

He just knows how to push every single one of my buttons and whenever he talks to me, I find the need to constantly  remind myself to remain calm, and that nothing good will come of strangling him.  In fact, I'm pretty sure that would get me fired.

Last week in addition to the lobster boy question, he came up to me after class and started the conversation with "I have a pet peeve with tonight's class."

Here is our conversation in as much detail as I can remember: 

(S = Sam the student, Temp = me)

S: I have a pet peeve with tonight's class.

Temp: Oh?  And what would that be Sam?

S: You never called on me when I had my hand raised to ask a question.

Temp: Hmm, I think I called on you and you asked quite a few questions tonight Sam.

(thinking to self, will you just shut up and go home!  For goodness sake 

its 10:30pm and I want to go home!!!!)

S: I had my hand raised a ton of times and you called on other people.

Temp:  Well, I apologize if I missed seeing your hand raised, I never intentionally avoid calling on you.  

(thinking- even if sometimes I want to avoid your hand, I never do!)

S:  You should call on me when my hand is raised.

Temp:  Unfortunately Sam, you are not the only student in the class who has questions, and if someone else's hand is raised, I might call on them before returning to call on you.  You did ask a number of questions tonight, and sometimes other students need the opportunity to ask questions too.   Now, was there any specific question you wanted to ask me?

(thinking- You egotistical person, I -must- call on you?  No, don't think so.)

S:  No, they all got answered.

Temp:  You mean, other people asked your question so you know the answer?

S:  Yes.

Temp:  So what is the problem?

(thinking- why the hell are you wasting my time, I'm tired and want to go home!)

S:  You still need to call on me whenever my hand is raised.

Temp:  (sigh)  See you next week Sam.

(thinking- can you just drop my class Mr. Annoying?)

And, just to hit home the type of student this individual is these are some other incidents that all happened in the same class period last week!

- He left class in the middle to go to the restroom (i'm assuming) which the whole class knows its okay to do.  However, when he returned I was halfway down the white board from where I was when he left.  He returned to his seat, and then 5 minutes later raised his hand to ask me a question about the notes that were written WHILE HE WAS OUT OF THE ROOM!   I would have had no problem with him coming up after class to ask me a question about something he missed while he was out... but to take up time in the middle of class?   This guy just thinks its all about him.

- He interrogated me about why I decided to let them work on what is normally their quiz as a group and made it into an in-class assignment.  Once in between every exam, I take what would normally be their quiz and let them work on it together, using their books and notes.   It basically guarantees them a full 10 points on it and they seem to learn that material too, so why not?  However, dear 'ol Sam, took it as a result of how badly he thought they all did on the last exam and said to me, "So, you know now that the exam was too hard so you're giving us extra points to make up for it."   Umm--- an fyi Sam--- the average on the exam was a C and just because you got a D, doesn't mean most people thought the exam was too hard.   And if you remember Sammy boy, I did the same thing one time before the last exam.  Nothing new here.

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So dear readers, how do you deal with those students that just grate your nerves?  Please share with me the methods you have used, because I think I'm in danger of losing my cool with him.

"Is that the same thing as a lobster boy?"

That is an actual quote from my class last week.   

The context?  We were talking about apoptosis (aka- programmed cell death) and how it is an  essential part of normal development.  The example I provided was how a developing chicken foot undergoes extensive apoptosis whilst a duck's does not, hence the remnant of webbing in the duck's foot and not in the chickens.

So my favorite student (that was sarcasm there... this individual is actually the one who drives me nuts and can push every single one of my buttons - story on that to come tomorrow) raises his hand, and that was the question he asked.

"Is that the same thing as a lobster boy?"

I had no idea how to respond and I'm sure my face showed that.   I hadn't the foggiest idea what he was referring to.   So I ask him if he can explain what he means and he goes on to say, 

"You know, the people in carnival freak shows that have lobster claws for hands."

Looking back on it now, I guess I can see where he is coming from, and how the question related to the topic at hand.  But at the time I was just so perplexed all I could respond with was...

"Sam*, I don't know anything about any lobster boys."

*= real name has been removed for sake of privacy.  Not that I seriously believe "Sam" actually reads my bog, but one never knows.

Updates

The quiz cheater was not in lab this week.   

This morning upon checking my roster, I find the student has withdrawn from the class.  Am I bothered by this?  Not at all.   This was the same student who, after receiving a 61 on the first exam, asked me if I could just drop the exam.  Not very likely I informed them in response.

I guess they decided to just take a "W" on their transcript rather than get the grade that would be coming to them.

Now come lecture time this week I need to inform the students of their grades in the class up to this point and let them know that March 26th is the last day they can withdraw from the class without having to provide any reason.  Do I think any of them will do this?   Yeah, unfortunately I do.   The couple of students that haven't attended really any lectures... they'll probably withdraw.  The student who didn't even show up for the first exam (15% of the final grade) and still thinks they can pass...they'll probably withdraw.

Oh well.....  thats the way it goes, right?  If they don't think they'll get a B, some will just drop.  Or am I incorrect in that assumption?

And, I have to keep reminding myself to not take it personally.  Why is that so hard?  All I want to do is teach them.  Get them to learn something in the science department.

OCD. Me? Never.

So I'm waiting to hear about my ACS fellowship.  

According to the 40+ page instruction booklet, they send out an e-mail with your application status in early to mid-March.  And even though they explicitly state that they will send out an e-mail before updating the reviewers comments on the proposalCENTRAL website, I am constantly logging onto the site to see if my comments are there.  And I mean constantly.  Last night I checked at 8:30pm, again at 8:50, once more at 9:40, and then one final time at 10:10 before turning my computer off for the night.

I hate to bother the good 'ol people at ACS (especially if they deem me worthy enough of some funding) but its AFTER BOTH EARLY AND MID-MARCH!  

Last time I checked March had 31 days, which would make the middle of March occur half way through the day on March 15th.  

Today is March 18th.  That would be 3 days after March 15th.

Don't provide me with date information like that and not keep your end of the bargain.  I mean, c'mon!  Your application was due on October 15th, and I didn't try and hand mine in on October 16th!  It was there, in your hands, by the 15th.  Like stated.  So cut me some slack and send me an e-mail.

I don't know why I'm OCDing about this as I'm fully prepared for another rejection letter.  What I really want is the comments they give you.  If I could just see what they thought was wrong with my proposal, maybe I could make some changes and resubmit.  After all, ACS lets you resubmit up to 2 times, I believe.   

Will I resubmit before the next deadline?  Perhaps.  'Cause I kinda want a fellowship.  Y'know?